a nice friend told me thins and i cried...

Never assume everyone don't want u

everyone don't like u

CAUSE it's not the truth

u never will know or understand everyone

Maybe they are just jealous

Or they are not in the mood

Never assume everyone don't want u

everyone don't like u

CAUSE it's not the truth

u never will know or understand everyone

Maybe they are just jealous

Or they are not in the mood

WHY MAKE KAIXIN SUFFER SO MUCH

FROM HER FAMILY

HER FRIENDS

HER LOVE ONES

WHY EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING IS GOING AGAINST EVERYTHING TOH KAI XIN DO??????

DID SHE DO ANYTHING BAD TO HAVE TO SUFFER ALL THIS CRAPS AND BULLSHITS ?

AGRHHHHHHH

SOMETIMES

NO

ACTUALLY

EVERYTIME

i hate the word and thing call fate

Those who deserve better.. Suffered.

Those who don't deserve it..

had the best around them.

Those who suffered, eventually would be the stronger person

Those who had the best, don't cherish..

AHHHHHH

Promise me will u?

Don't disappear.. Don't fall.. Don't leave...

if i had not been in this world

today.

i was walking

i thought...

if i disappeared.

that would be good wouldnt it?

i wont make pple arnd me angry.

i wont go arnd telling pple abt my troubles end end up making their lifes difficult

i wont feel sad.

i wont make pple sad too

or best

if i wasnt in this world in the first place

i wouldnt have wasted so much natural resources on the earth

give them to someone more useful than me

give them to someone who is more worth it than me

give them to others.

for a moment

i really wished that i could disappear

i was thinking of ways to disappear.

the atmosphere.

as if i wasnt there at all

i was invisible

or maybe i was the one who made myself invisible

yea i think i did

when i was alone

i thought of walking away

when i was crossing the road

i walked slowly

hoping for something bad to happened

if not for _______

maybe i wouldnt be help

___pulled me

thank you...

but.

i noe whats really going on.

i really felt like crying when i walked with verlyn to the exam hall

almost

i held back

i dont wanna affect my exam

after exam

i tot it will be fine

or maybe at least better.

guess u was right

u are better off without me

guess i should disappear frm ur life

or....disappear from everyones life..

the first thing i am gonna do if i have magic is

make me disappear..

and it will be the only thing

what i am left with?

i suck

totally

today when to jp with xueyi to buy her dress

she was so high

which made me dunnoe what to do but went a little high with her

if not for what happened before

i might had been crazy woth her too

she bought a nice dress

and a high waist skirt

she got good taste

she msged me saying thankyou for going out with her

i said "ur welcome i accompany my great grand ahmah go shopping mah"

but now.

i am gonna take it back i am no longer her great grand nuer

its sad

really

i am sad

i find sad the most suitable word to use now

cuz thats how i feel

so many things

so many troubles

so many giving ups

to many

if thats what ur feel and wanna let me noe

i accept it

but.

i really didnt

i accept the fact that.

i was given up

begining of the year

i cried cuz i felt the nightmare coming back

but they told me no

the nightmare is never gonna come back

cuz they will be with me

they said

they promised

but still they left

now i noe the meaning of promises are meant to be broken

i noe the meaning of broken

cuz i feel it

i suck

when i need someone.i found nobody beside me

nobody.
Nobody is my best buddy now
Cuz i found nobody beside me when i need somebody.
Wats wrong agn
My eyes are so dry. Yet i can feel tears falling
Or should i say invisible tears.
Crying inside.
Wat did i do wrong.
I really dont know.
Tell me how to choose between two?
The heart wenching pain

Tears fell.
Who will understand how i feel...

currently in msia..
Reached here at arnd 1am in the morning.
Slept.
Woke up at arnd 5.30
Went to make my passport.
Drys very dry.
Waited for my turn.
Came back to aunt hse to eat.
2hrs l8r went back to collect the passport.
Now back at aunt hse. Very tired. Not feeling good.
Tired frm ytd waking up at 5..
Shall faster watch finish momo love ep 3and 4 den go slp

i cried when i watched this:'(

fun tiring...

waiting for ep 37 to load

very slow

having headache:(

shall go watch show with kc

watch zjsg haha the in front part

and

I FREAKING DROP MY HANDPHONE AFTER ENDING MY DAD'S CALL!!!!

i think is see kenneth drop hp drop until like very fun.

haha

den i drop mine too?

nah is i clumsy

TOTAL MADDNESS

ALDA FOUND MY EARING!!!

HAHA TODAY WENT MAD

reached dance room at arnd 1 plus dance starts at 2 but we expected juniors to reach at 2.30

munyee and alda spammed pics

den nic add in

den shuyun watching video using hp

i was listening to music

pris and meijia was dancing

pearlyn...missing

den munyee let down her hair

look like lioness

i let down mine

den meijia let down hers

den pris oso

pris scare munyee and meijia

haha

den meijia tied her pony tail high high

haha

den munyee and i followed

den shuyun tie her side pony tail hig

den i change

den we wnet mad

alda was the photographer

meijia and pris continues dancing

munyee help nic tie high high

haha

took many pics

nobody ever see me go tat mad!!

except for bananas

since i am waiting

and i have to wait for youtube to slowly load my show.

i shall post

short short post

today danced...

miss my bomb bomb partner

who is kind of MIA

missing in action

haha

no lar

i now where she is

but very long nvr see her lea

miss her.

today was ok

went up on stage to get ytd trophy for handball

1st lea!!!

so proud

but so sad the "high"girls went up stage to get prize

den the guys didnt cheer for us:(

nvm

still we won wat

kae my show load finish ke

bye!

ytd didnt post

cuz ..

hmmmm

jus didnt post

alda reads me upside down

hehe

by seeing my back view she noes what i am gng to do!

she is oso a doraemon!!

ask her for tissue

she boomz!

gives me tissues

hehehe

currently chionging my show!

终极三国untill ep 25 le!!

woots!

bye

today was tiring

danced

hope tmr we can work together well

we improved ok!!

only a little not tgt.

but.i see improvement

love those who gave up there post exam activities for school marketing

althought ur girls got some nagging from me

hehe

i feel bad for making ur dance and dance

:(

but we wanna put on a great performance right?

jiayou girls!!

although only alda will see....maybe..

haha

but still wanna say

bye

i got chiong video

DID I MENTION!!

DID I MENTION!!!

DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU!!

omg!!

i love u man!!!

hahaha dun think too much i am refering to

MS TENG SHU YI ALDA

my saviour!!!

she agreed to go for the sch marketing with me!!

woots!!!

haha

love her loads

haha

tiring

but TOTALLY FUN!!!!

haha i tot twice not thrice

i still feel that it is me that is not being a good leader

cuz i am ...

blur

but

hello

show me some respect lar!!!

...

kae nvm i dun wanna talk abt not happy stuff

leadership needs to be built

everything seems to be fine today

but i noe deep inside

its not at all

pple are not happy with me

i am sorry that ur feel that way towards me

i tried to talk to u

but u seemed to ignore me

i stood beside u

hoping u will realise how sucky i felt

but u kept quiet

u talked to someone else instead of me

u noe i feel like running to the toilet to cry!

u noe i feel like crying

and u dun seems to care

i locked my blog.

i unlocked it

cuz alda say i was a pig to say nobody tag cuz i locked it

not like i unlock then will havepple tag...

its jus like locking myself and telling her nobody understand me

so i unlocked it

hoping pple will understand me

and guess wat?

i will end up.

locking it up agn

mr lew says dun fake happiness

i dun like to fake it too

but.

i dun wanna appear to be always emo

i rather laugh to forget those unhappy things for that moment

its always the same thing

always

when will it ever end....

i really really have to say sorry to my dear dear dear friend

my superwoman who is always there

no matter how much prob she is facing

no matter wat she has on hand to be done.

when i need her

she will poof and appear

sorry

i noe all i said was i oso

cuz i was sad too

cuz i dunnoe wat else i could say.

i noe looking for reasons now is useless

u needed me

but wasnt there

i am really really sorry

i am tired now

but if i can

i will fly there to tell u that i am sorry

i noe i am a bad friend:(

u are still like that

no matter wat i did for you

no matter how much i tried

no matter how much efforts i put in

u still treat me the same

zero trust

thats all i have

i am getting tired

very tired

i did so much for u

i scared u dun like it

specially requested for u

and u went opposite

maybe i was jus being nossy

i should care abt what its supposed to be like

i was so worried to see u walk away

i msged u

i was holding my hp all the way

i nvr for once wanted to let it go or put it into my bag cuz i scared

when u reply i didnt see den reply u late

time past no replies

i waited

u didnt reply

i put it into my bag

when i realised it was more than 1hr le

i rushe d to my bag for my hp.

but still u didnt reply

u asked me

not to hid things

but u are the one hidding more

more than i can every imagine

maybe jus hidding from me

maybe its jus me

maybe i shouldnt think so much

maybe i shouldent care so much

maybe....

i am jus extra...

extra to u...

maybe i am nothing to u.

maybe...

it was a lie

maybe u lied to me and i believed

OMG !!!!

DANCE SUBARU IS SUPER DUPER NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHA

ok i go slp liao

short short post

tmr is a tiring day

gonna have mission:)

haha

ok time to go be piggggggggg

bye!

i had apologise

guess ur didnt accept it

guess it was too hard to accept it

guess i hurt ur too much

i am sorry

i didnt wat things to turn out this way

i wan us to shine like the pass.

i wan to turn back time

if i had a chance

i rather not say out how i feel

i did rather hid them inside forever so that we wont be like this

if i did jump down a building now

i wish.

ur will be there to at least listen to me say i am sorry with my last breath

i dont noe if ur noe this

if ur ever fall

i will be behind ur.

to hold ur

no matter how much its gonna hurt me

cuz i see ur fall

and i wanna let ur noe.

its ok to fall

trust me that i will be behind to hold on to ur.

trust me that i wont leave

turst me that i may seems like how i am on the outside

but i am not.

trust me that ur mean alot.

trust me that i dun mean it today.

pls

i am sorry

从我眼中滑落的泪伤心欲绝
混乱中有种热泪烧伤的错觉

tears.

hard to control

out of control

i cant control

pls help me

its not like wat ur were thinking

its not i dont wanna see ur

i wan to

but i was late

very late for the meeting

if i still stand there talk what will they think?

thats why i asked ur not to wait

thats why i ask ur dont go.

cuz i dun wanna let ur feel that way

sorry

i apologise for my bad attitude towards ur jus now

i dint mean it

ur nt a bad mummy

i told u u are the best rmb?

i mean it

really

becca yang is the best mummy

IN THE WHILE WIDE WORLD

and i mean it

i am sorry for jus now

i noe ur waited for a long time

i wanted to rush there too

but,i cant

i wan to talk to ur

but i have work to be done

sorry

and sorry for not going out with your today

cuz i was asked out ytd

forgive me can?

you being part of my life is not the saddest thing

it has never been the saddest thing

and it will never be the saddest thing.

u rmb how much laughter we had?

rmb how much we went through?

rmb what we promised?

rmb how we went through scoldings and stuff?

rmb ?

i rmb clearly

we went through up and down

its not gonna stop here

i am not gonna let it be like this

pls forgive me

today was overall fun

i got sun burn

but i dun feel the pain

but itchy lea...

hehe i am gonna be tan tan

for once in such a long while

un successful sandcastle

darker tan lines

and most of all sun burn....

so red:(

tmr still got meeting

fun and tiring day...

haha alda teng hor

anyway if anyone dunnoe those mushy words who write de

it me

haha

kae alda is the super man!!

pooooooof*

haha

omg i jus love alda teng so much eh daryl dun angry i cant help it too

but i wont snatch from u de lar

cuz she has always been mine!!

i mean my best friend and my superwoman lar

haha

i now of another person who will oso be jealous

hehe

i smell very strong chu wei!!!!!!

haha

ok

i shall go focu on my rc

INVASION! But not as secretive liao ):

Credits to Deviantart

There's a story behind why me and Kaixin always take turns to become superman!

Firstly, She's mostly there when I need help! Example, when I wake up in the morning to go school and I'm quite late, I immediately ring Kaixin for help! Sometimes, when it's raining so heavily, I also ring ring her and ZOOMZZZZ I get a ride from her dad! Hahahaha :D Somemore he drive all the way to my lobby so that I won't get wet! Isn't that great?!

Secondly, when she needs help, Alda try to ZOOM ZOOM THERE TO THE RESCUE! Apparently this time I want to give her a surprise but I couldn't cos I realised her password from the one I originally had was different so I had to ask her (spoilt half of my fun). Anyway, I intrude into her blog just to post this superman pic! Kaixin, don't fall in love with me ah, See i so shuai! *points above. HHAHAHAHA. :X

Psstttttttttt, zooooomzzzzzzz. I got sth to show you Kaixin!

HAHAHAH! *later somebody jealous :X

I was packing my stuff today when I chanced upon this letter. It made me laughed. HAHAHA :D I tell you ah, Kaixin flood my entire box with letters. HAHAHA :D

Ok shhhhhh EH PIGXIN. I HELP YOU UPDATE BLOG WITH INTERESTING PICS LEA. THANK ME MAN!!! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA.

Okkkkk, shhhhhh.

From your secret admirer. LOLLLLLLLLLLLZxzxzx :X

i find these meaningful as in wat i see in the pic

walking out of fog.

with someone by you.

it makes one feel safer.

more secure

rather than this kae this jus reminds me of twilight

but no matter how dark the forest is

there is always light somewhere

waiting for you to realise

the ray you light can be this

so bright

you can be the center of the lime light..

feel the rays of the sun.

welcome the next day

the next challenge

or this

little bit of light but great hopes

make use of this light

and shine for all u can even if there is little to show

i read.

and i realised.

i knew nothing

i was guessing through out.

guess i didnt meant much.

or i dun feel that i meant much to ur bah

maybe its jus a outer shell that we have

nothing inside

its empty

nvm jus let the outer shell be there bah

i will do watever i can do to fill it up with smthing

i am tired

not only physically tired now

but mentally too.

but i am not gonna give in.

or give up on anything i have to do.

no matter wat

i can do it.

i knew today....

i can be calm

i can be consistent

i can be patient

i am caring and friendly

i dun like confilcts

hence i hardly cause or start any conflicts

which result me in not knowing how to solve conflicts

but i take long time to make decisions

is this a good thing?

taking long time means i can think more

but wat if i missed the chance?

everything has more than one point of view

maybe wat i had typed and felt is jus my point of view

my be its jus my feelings that does not matter

cuz to me

wat matters is how ur feel

not me

i wan everyone to be happy

i did rather i be the one who suffer

for your

i dont mind

cuz i noe wat ur are to me

how ur feels is important to me

cuz i care

but if ur didnt want my care.

its ok.

i wont stop giving them

cuz i stilll believe that one day.

ur will come to me and tell me

tell me that ur need me and my concern

maybe ur have ur own reasons for not telling me

maybe ur did not tell me much.

but i told ur alot

more than wat i told them

but wat i get back is so much lesser than wat i got from them

it doesnt matters

i dun need that return

i dun wan it if ur have to fake it out for me

its not me and me and me and still me

its ur.

ur feelings and ur trust u have in me

trust.

trust them

trust them that they will catch u when u fall

just like today's game

i trusted and fell safely.

i trusted ur but

so many times

i fell hardly to the ground

ur are not ready to catch me

i only noe.

alda will be there trying so hard to catch me and help me

cuz she nvr fails to

nvr....

ur will inly come in when i am ok.

when i had alrdy get back to myself

or on the track to get back.

and u will claim its ur efforts

that how i feel

i dun wanna quarrel with anyone

jus

wanna let ur noe how i feel recently

drifted

further and further away

and here i am trying with all i have to grab hold of ur

and ur are not helping me

ur gave up on me

tell me how to hold on when ur are letting go.

ur used to tell me

i always say they are better

but do ur noe i spend more time with ur?

trying to let ur noe i wan ur to noe me and i wan to be proud to say ur are as good?

when ever i wan to.

i failed.

i will jus end up hiding myself back into the little room

if i made ur unhappy.

i am sorry.

i will deleted this if it makes anyone unhappy.

cuz wat matters is how others feels

i keep telling myself this

am now.

to me

i dun have a self

i am off

bye...

fun day

love it!

bet most of us do!

haha

learnt alot too

and also jobs to be completed

problem....

next week.

i have dental appointment.

how?

its like either i chiong to midpoint and rush back

or ponn the dental.

shift it till a day when i am free.

like huh?>

dam diffcult.

but .

hope cant find a suitable time to fit in

cu i really dun wanna miss the programs like i love them lor...

kae

mus practice good english

haha

i just love the event!

haha

kae i shall off com or let kc use.

its a tiring day.

all i need is to slpppppppppppppppppppp

yeh like a pig.

like i always do:x

guess i will be dead busy recently.

so many things

like boomz!!

haha

and guess wat?

I FINALLY GOT MY NEW BOOK!!

I SAVED MONEY TO BUY IT AND WHEN I TELL MY MUM I GNG TO BUY SHE GAVE ME MONEY TO BUY!!

MUMMY I LOVE YOU MAN!!!!

HAHA

kae i shall cool down

i am so tired that i dun even wanna touch the book

not that i dun like

i love the book

jus that i noe if i start reading

i wont stop

which means

no slp.

and i might have super huge and block panda eyes

hehe

den need wear shades to cover it up.

oh ya!

many many thanks to munyee nicole and yizhao

for accompanying me to jp.

haha

had fun on the train!!

okok really gona go le

bye pple

had two hours of piano lesson

walked in the super duper heavy rain

take umbrella oso get wet
really!!

the wind was like !@#$%^&*()(*&^%$#@#$%^&**)($#$

haha

den i was freezing

no lar jus cold.

den piano...

den take bus homed

nthing much